Draco and Hermione
by George Lucas Official
Summary: Starcrossed lovers...together at last


Xavier Manor stood like no other building. It's ancient English walls and bricks gave rise to a new form of people who studied within: mutants. A small proportion of the human population, mutants were gifted with extraordinary abilities some may consider to be unnatural. Xavier Manor's owner and proprietor, Charles, watched solemnly a safe distance away in the wood, ready to enact his plan. He closed his eyes while he sat in his wheelchair and, using his telepathy, scanned the entire building for life forms.

"It looks like they're all asleep. Logan, are you ready?"

Charles turned to a burly looking tank-top ridden man leaning against a nearby tree. The gruff one huffed and puffed on a cigar, rolling his eyes in a clear sarcastic manner.

"Bub, I was born ready!" Wolverine shot back with clenched teeth. He frowned. "Are you sure I have to wear it though?" Wolverine held up a Walmart shopping bag.

"Logan," reprimanded Charles with a stern expression. "You promised!"

Wolverine sighed and left the immediate area for some privacy.

Half an hour later the Wolverine returned, and was not happy one bit. Head to toe, he was dressed in a made for children light blue Fluffy Bunny outfit, with a puff tail to match.

"It rides up in my ass a little, Professor!" He complained half-heartedly. Charles, however, could not have been more pleased, and encouraged Wolverine to take it further.

"You know what to do, Logan." Charles spoke with a finality.

Wolverine sighed and, channeling his inner animalistic instincts, tore off in the direction of Xavier Manor.

Faster and faster Logan ran with all his might. He leapt and crossed over logs, swam in streams, and clawed his way through bush. He finally burst out onto the grounds of the Manor where he saw a charmfully silent Scott Summers strolling about.

"Hey, buddy!" the Cyclops greeted playfully. "What's that you're wear-"

"Bunny Bunny Little Man, Elvis Presley Disney Band!" Wolverine roared as he impaled the energy mutant with one of his dangerous clawed hands. Scott gurgled inaudible noises before collapsing on the freshly mowed lawn, blood pooling quickly around his head. Wolverine had no time to linger; more were about.

He glanced up at one of the high windows. Nodding and not to mention breathing heavily, Wolverine used his claws to scale upwards one hand at a time. He reached the window sill and shattered the glass inwards, leaping onto the tiled floor.

He heard shrieks all around him and knew he had jumped into something big. He turned wildly to his left and saw Ororo Iqadi T'Challa AKA Storm high scream and sprint out of the way.

"Bunny Bunny Little Man, Elvis Presley Disney Band!" Wolverine burst out again in clawing down the useless Storm. Blood spattered many shocked students faces. Wolverine still had to get more.

Just then, Hank McCoy AKA Beast came barreling around the corner.

"Logan what the HECK!" Beast shouted with his face scrunched and turning blue. Wolverine growled and for the third time recited his line.

"Bunny Bunny Little Man, Elvis Presley Disney Band!"

Two clawed hands split open the Beast's ribcage, spooning delectable yummy tummy everywhere.

"Oh SHIT!" Wolverine announced in spotting the treasure. "Professor I've found it!"

He reached inside the innards of Beast and squeezed out a Flintstone's Morning Gummy Vitamin.

"Logan! Excellent! Bring it back as soon as possible!" The Professor rasped in a breathless whisper.

Wolverine tucked it inside his pants for safety and plunged out the window he burst in from. Faster than ever before he sprinted along the lawn, through the woods, and finally atop the hill where Xavier had fallen out of his wheelchair in the excitement. He made no effort to get back in the saddle, however. He only held out a shaking hand as Wolverine handed him a slightly moist Flintstones gummy. With a pop in went inside the Professor's mouth.

"I certainly hope it's worth the trouble of three good lives!" Wolverine gruffed to the moaning Professor.

"Logan….Logan I need you to stand in front of me!" Xavier shouted.

Wolverine did as he was told, wondering what on Earth all of this was about.

The Professor glanced at Logan who stood with his hands on his hips before the wheelchaired man. But then it was time.

"My goodness it's gotten BIGGER!" Yelled the Professor over the power of his X-Cock. It was stretching beyond its breaking point. Soon it would break buttons, more or less pants too.

"Jesus bub! That's one big Hockaloogie!" Wolverine congratulated grudgingly.

The X-Cock finally tore through Xavier's britches, red and veiny as it was, it moved about the air like a serpent, sniffing the air through the urethra. It slithered down onto the ground where the final act would take place. With a thump it dug its head into the ground in acting as a lever for the old Professor. Slowly but surely, it lifted the old man from his seat to be suspended at a perfect 90 degree angle, the X-Cock nearly 6 feet in length now.

"Logan please, stand back."

Wolverine attempted to feign deafness but couldn't succeed. His parents had never signed him up for acting school.

"Professor it's not that, I swear!" Wolverine shouted. A clawed hand pulled out what dignity the Wolverine had in store. In time everyone faces the challenges of becoming the best X-Dragon in the world, but good god there were some tough competitions.

"Lemme just SNIFF!" Said the itch on WOlverine's nose. Unknowingly, he tried to itch, but claws extracted, it sliced him a plunder.

"YEEEOW!"

Grounds shook and Earths quaked, but nothing else happened that summer. Nothing else but the destruction of the Pentagon. Magneto SAYS he didn't do it, but everyone knew it to be a big fib.

"Metal? What metal? What is this material you speak of?" spoke a Magneto during his trial. His tactic wasn't the best suited and the judge Jonas wasn't impressed.

"Thats, uh, fifty years in HELL!" He screamed with spit on the malet.

Magento was in disarray. He had gone so much into character that he actually forgot what metal was, and for the next fifty years he cultivated into a fully grown beard. His other mutation?

"Bub you don't wanna go there!" feigned a Magneto attempting to appear as Logan, though without much success. To wrap up the show, Magneto AKA Faux Wolverine constricted his neck in a slink of liquid metal and tried to see how far he could go without passing out. He made it to a minute.

Fin


End file.
